even the most fabulous and seemingly strong relationships can break on the stones of reality. And it doesn’t matter at all whether you or your partner act as the initiator of the breakup or whether it is a mutual decision. In any case, it will be painful and unpleasant. But there is good news: you can survive the breakup to your advantage.
After any breakup of a relationship, a person goes through several stages:
- Shock. In the first days, pain will be felt, apathy will arise, the world will stop playing with colors.
- Negation. The brain turns on a defensive reaction, bad thoughts go into the background, instead of them there is an expectation of the return of a partner.
- Anger. The realization comes that the past will not return, aggression towards the former appears.
- Adoption. Gradually, the world around takes on new colors, although sadness continues to arise from time to time.
- Liberation. The former ceases to excite, his place in the soul is occupied by other emotions (not necessarily associated with a new person).
There are some people who find it easy to get over a breakup. They easily leave the past behind and confidently move into the future. Others may stew in self-pity and anger towards their partner for months at a time. They cannot let go of the breakup and hope for a return to the relationship. Both reactions are completely normal.
How a person will experience a breakup with a partner depends on the type of nervous system, the situation in which the separation occurred, and the desire to start living anew. If we talk about internal processes, then during a relationship the brain constantly receives a portion of hormones. including dopamine. After the rupture, the body feels a sharp shortage of familiar substances. The person experiences a kind of breakdown. He needs those same hormones, and if you approach the matter correctly, then they can be obtained not from the presence of a partner, but from other sources.
Scientific research shows that you can survive a breakup to your advantage. Different types of attachments provoke a person’s personal growth. The individual improves self-esteem, masters new useful skills and psychological techniques. Such perfection affects not only the person here and now, but also future relationships.
We have prepared some actionable tips to easily survive the breakup and at the same time grow above yourself.
Give yourself time
Remember: it’s okay to grieve and feel sorry for yourself. To survive a breakup, you need to throw out emotions. You can cry, scream, break dishes, watch melodramas or listen to one sad song on repeat. Anything, as long as it makes it easier. The faster you let go of yourself, your pain, the less likely you are to get stuck in a prolonged depression. Set aside a deadline for yourself, then resolutely hide the ice cream in the refrigerator and get up from the couch to start implementing other tips.
More personal space
After a breakup, it becomes obvious how much your ex has infiltrated your life. Create free space for yourself: remove his things, remove him from friends on social networks. If for some reason, after parting, it is impossible to completely exclude a partner from life, do it temporarily. For example, blocking in social networks.
Spend time with friends
Congenial people remarkably help to survive the breakup, which psychologists never tire of reminding. Man instinctively needs affection. To restore your life, friendly affection will do. You can always tell a friend about your hopes and fears, complain about a failed relationship, and get support.
Take your free time
In a relationship, we always give a lot of space to a partner. Thoughts, deeds, free time are dedicated to him. And after the break, suddenly there is emptiness. Keep her busy with something. Call your family, go visit, spend an evening at a club or freshen up the renovation in the apartment. The less free time, the less sad thoughts.
Pick up some healthy habits
Oddly enough, but you can survive a breakup with the help of proper nutrition and sports. By changing your habits, you will improve your appearance and figure, which will increase your self-esteem. Many psychologists advise streamlining your sleep schedule. All this will bring a charge of vivacity and positive to the body, relieve depression and negative thoughts.
Start looking for yourself
Breaking up a relationship is a great excuse to try something new. Go to educational courses in a completely unfamiliar specialty, attend several master classes, learn to dance or play musical instruments. A new hobby will help not only survive the breakup, but also find yourself. Perhaps a brilliant director is sleeping in you, and accounting is a passed stage of life.
Reach out to other people for help
Sometimes friends and relatives do not want to devote to some of the details of a breakup. Or just no one is within reach. Then strangers will come up for a conversation. Of course, it is better if they are certified psychologists. But even a fellow traveler on the train can help you talk and get emotional release.
A change of routine helps to survive the breakup of a relationship. It could be a small facelift, furniture rearrangement, a weekend getaway, or a radical move to a new place of residence. You can take care of yourself: a new style of clothing, hairstyle, makeup. Any changes will help you take a fresh look at yourself and the world around you.
Do some introspection
Think about the positive things this relationship has given you. Evaluate your contribution and the contribution of a partner. Keep a diary and write down your thoughts there, and after a while re-read and analyze. If you’re still hurt by the breakup, make a list of your favorite things to do when you’re down.
Do a soul-searching
A little exercise will help you survive a breakup. Write what qualities an ideal partner should have. In another column, describe what annoyed you with your ex. Make a portrait of your future partner.
Do not do that!
We strongly do not recommend eating or drinking grief: harm your health and you won’t return the relationship. It does not help to survive the breakup and casual sex. A new relationship would also be a bad idea. First you need to let go of the old and only then create something different from scratch, and not take revenge or look for a replacement.