One-pointed contemplation reveals an amazing paradox. Yes, we have all heard about the need to be aware of the “moment of now”, and many of us realize that we are always in the now, and the past and future do not exist. But what are these words worth in themselves? Outside of concepts, by direct experience, it feels like a great miracle. Events always require a period of time. But we are always in the now. And the clearer the awareness of the present, the shorter and more refined “intervals” we perceive. It feels like time is getting shorter. And in the limiting state outside of time, the world disappears. Outside of time, in the present, there can be no events that require time. This experience was too unusual for me to describe it in any more specific way.
True spirituality is a personal experience. The other does not exist. All teachings and descriptions are just words that, with luck, can lead to experience. A lie in this vein is useful, so that, having fallen into its bait, and getting out, learn to distinguish the truth on your own, and not from other people’s words. Spiritual teachers do not teach spirituality, but load the mind with spiritual illusions, having had enough of them, one can finally become really interested in one’s own nature and begin to pay attention to one’s life here and now.
Another paradoxical discovery is the spontaneity of all phenomena. Here, in this life, no one really plans or chooses anything. Life, even the most serious, social one, where we study, work and comply with the laws – it just happens, like a river – always different and spontaneous. In this river, “I”, as a choosing agent, is the same spontaneous phenomenon as the breath of the wind, the rustle of leaves, the movement of clouds. No mysticism, just being, and the life that takes place in it. The one who chose and acted is the same spontaneous phenomenon as everything else in this life. This paradoxical choosing agent – the source of ordinary human life – is the main focus on which the consciousness of people is fixed. Without a doer, there is no choice, no doubts and anxieties, no fears. What can be the choice at the particle level? Everything just happens.
“Everything just happens,” was the first thought that came to me in that state. She turned on the ego. With her came choice and action again. However, this bridge can also be crossed in the opposite direction. When this first happened, the mind realized that against the background of life as such, it does not matter when and how the most important things happen. Everything in life just happens. And so it has always been. For life as such, it does not matter whether a person is immersed in illusions or not. This meaning exists only in our mind. Enlightenment exists only for our mind. Life is always itself. I remember that day I went into my LiveJournal diary and made a three-word post: “everything just happens.” So simple. Too easy. The mind doesn’t like that.
The practice continued year after year. “Speed” several times increased to unbearable. I still have not learned to “enter” pure being by my own decision. Yes, everything just happens. The doer’s egocentrism brings back doubts. Subsequently, the mind gave birth to a complex concept that is still not fully understood. But perhaps the point is that the path of each person runs through specific layers of information in his mind. Someone likes the fashionable word “karma” more. It is not necessary to dissolve all the “information” in order to go beyond – into pure being. Perhaps that is why specific teachings are justified. On the “narrow” path, we do not dissolve all karma, but make a neat “passage” to freedom. But, as experience shows, this passage can periodically fill up with “karma” stones that create obstacles on the way. Perhaps the “intensity” and “speed” is the study of these blockages – the main obstacles to freedom.